You may sweat. This is outright disgusting. SHOWER? WHERE'S THE SHOWER? WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP HANDING ME THIS DR. BRONNER'S STUFF AND WHY IS IT SO MINTY?
You may step in mud. WHAT IS THIS ICKY, GROSS DISGUSTINGNESS THAT IS RUINING MY UGGS?
You may lose bars on your cellphone. You may even be unable to text or Instagram for the eternity that is an hour or two. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.
There may be hills and your legs may become tired. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A HILL AND ANYWAY THAT'S WHAT THE GYM IS FOR.
You may come across a piece of trash and this will, inexplicably, make you very angry and petulant.
You may start reciting Robert Frost poems. WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE....
You may experience absolute solitude. NOPE. WHERE MY PEOPLE AT???
You may discover that your body is quite the efficient machine that keeps surprising you, hour after hour. NOPE. NOT POSSIBLE. I DID NOT JUST DO THAT.
You may experience pure, unadulterated pleasure. WHAT IS THIS...FEELING?