HOW TO BE A FATRUNNER IN 10 SIMPLE STEPS

Updated on June 1, 2016: GLOBAL RUNNING DAY

If you're not a runner yet, you can become one today !

It's easy to become a FATRUNNER. Here's how:

1. Embrace the name.

• Many times, nomenclature makes decisions for us. It's time to take the name and do something with it. Use it as a weapon, a sign to let people know who you are and what awesomeness you are about to achieve. LIVE IT. Be proud. Be active. And even though many of us are trying to lose the fat for health and wellness reasons, EMBRACE it and LOVE it. 

2. Decide to run. 

• Whether it's slow running, run-walking or walk-running, sprinting, limping with/without a crutch, or running with a prosthetic--running is running. Don't let anyone tell you what you are doing. Only YOU know.

Tammi Nowack Photography

3. Look in the mirror and smile, even if it doesn't feel genuine. Sometimes, we have to fake it until we make it.

• Thank your body for how it has supported you thus far. Make a promise to your body that you will honor and nourish it, as it has you. 
• Have a favorite mantra? Now is the time to repeat it several times. I like this one from Christiane Northrup, MD:  "I love myself unconditionally right now."

4. Put on your running clothes. 

• Do you only have sweats or jeans? Yoga pants or cargo pants? Have a favorite t-shirt that makes you feel and act fabulous? WHATEVER, they're running clothes so put them on.

5. Put on your sneakers, kicks, tennis shoes, gym shoes, wedges, stilettos, sandals, Doc Martens. Or not. You can run barefoot too. 

• Shoes tattered and falling apart? Totally fine, because that's why duct-tape and Crazy-Glue were invented. 

6. Look in the mirror AGAIN and admire yourself for being a badass fatrunner.  

• Repeat your mantra again, several times until you start believing it or until you start feeling crazy. Either totally works.

7. Leave your house. Lock the door if you're in Brooklyn.

8. Take a breath, or several if you're asthmatic. (Maybe you should take your inhaler too...)

• Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with asthma and sometimes this makes us scared. Talk to your doctor about exercising beforehand. If they discourage you from exercising without trying to find a safe balance for exercising, find another doctor. Our bodies were meant to move and there are tons of successful athletes dealing with asthma.

9. Take a selfie to record this momentous occasion--YOU KNOW YOU WANNA POST THIS ON INSTAGRAM!

10. Run. 

• Run-walk. Walk-run. Run to the lamppost. Breathe. Take another selfie. Run. Again.

Originally posted in March 2015

Haters Gonna Hate: A Rant

Here's a little glimpse into my head from March 3, 2014

I'm fat and I'm a little bit angry.

I'm pretty much in love with my body. It can do so much that it couldn't do years ago.  And if I am able to continue what I am doing now for years, it will continue to surprise me and reciprocate the love that I have given it over my lifetime. Sometimes, I get disappointed or angry with it, but like any long-term, committed relationship, it usually comes right back to love and respect.

Also, and thank goodness for this, I didn't grow up in a body-dysmorphic family culture where girls are encouraged not to eat too much, or to worry so much about their appearance that it blocks them from being who they are. I am so thankful for this.

So this post is for all you haters out there. And let me apologize on BEHALF OF YOU to YOUR BODY, for you projecting your own insecurity and feeling of inadequacy on others. I don't typically waste mental energy caring about what other people think of me or other fat people. But sometimes, the hating comes in waves and it has to be dealt with. I don't always have a snarky comeback, but some level of snark is definitely deserved, even if it comes days or weeks later.  Here are some things that people have said to me, either to my face or behind my back, or to others along with some of my actual or imagined responses:

For as much as you work out you should be thinner, don't you think?
No, why?
Because you have some preconceived notion and idea of what it means to be fit and flippin' fabulous?
Because you haven't bothered to get off the couch?
Don't get me started.

You run too much. All you do is run. You run in the woods. You run in the rain. You run in ALASKA. Do you ever think about doing anything else? 
Yeah. Like, I work. I raise my kid (along with my hubby.) I read. I write. I travel. And yeah, I run because I like doing it. Have you not found something that you love doing whenever possible? Something that nourishes you and renews you? No? Sorry but not sorry.

You might wanna stop running so much. For a big girl like you, you may be better off on the elliptical or like, playing tennis.
Why are you so concerned? Last time I checked, getting any exercise is better than getting no exercise. Do you know what's more dangerous on the knees and heart? Not doing anything. And by the way, my joints are just fine. But my brain hurts trying to explain basic shit to you.

Wait. You're black. 
Not this again, and yep, I am.
Guess what black folk? White people don't own the outdoors. No one does, in fact, except for Mother Nature. No one owns your health and well-being, except for you. I'm really sick and tired of black people from ALL socioeconomic strata saying to me or to others who spend considerable time outdoors, "WE don't run in the woods. You know, because of..." Because of WHAT? Have we forgotten who our ancestors were and how they lived?

What part of health are we not understanding? Have you looked around lately and noticed that we are DROPPING LIKE FLIES (and I mean dropping dead) because of heart attacks, complications with diabetes, hypertension, and general obesity related illnesses? So why berate ANYONE who is out there doing their thing, fighting preconceived notions about what it is to be black and to be healthy? Let's get out of this mindset. It's not only hurting us, it's killing us.

Read this for further commentary.

Don't you feel weird going into a gym-you know, cuz everyone's a size zero and you're not?
Thanks for pointing out the obvious. So perceptive of you.
What gym do YOU go to? That apparently is not my gym because although my gym has its share of meat-heads, there are tons of different body types, goals, people, sizes. Dud/ette, get out of your house. And another thing, when I walk into the gym, I OWN IT. I rock those machines. I have a good time and don't EVER worry about haters like you.

Wow, you're really hungry.
Yep. That would be because I just ran 20 miles. What did YOU do today? Right.
Also, I love food, and I'm not going to let you make me feel bad about enjoying and partaking in nourishment. Unlike a lot of people, I don't starve myself to fool people into believing that I care about what they think about my body. Never been a part of who I am, and sorry for you, never will be. Next topic.

And this:

Have you gained weight? 
Let me say this: It is never a good idea, in fact it's downright inappropriate to ask someone IF THEY'VE GAINED WEIGHT unless you're their WEIGHT LOSS SPECIALIST. Or someone who has embarked on a weight-loss mission with them. It is never your right to ask something so personal or potentially devastating no matter what your relationship. And also, comments about what a person eats. Same rules apply. 

You run really slowly. 
Yep. But have you done a marathon? Yeah, didn't think so. Next comment. (Even if you have run a marathon, why are you concerned about my pace? How does it affect your life? It doesn't, right? Moving on...)

This one was from a woman I sat next too on the Super Shuttle to the cruise terminal in Seattle. We had started up a conversation about what cruises we were doing, etc...

Well, how many marathons have you done? (I have now done 7 marathons and 7 ultras as of May 2016)
Four so far, plus an ultramarathon. I'm hoping to do many more. I really like marathons.

Well I've run over 150 marathons all over the world. You'll get tired of them soon enough. So what else are you doing to lose weight?
Um, I'm not really trying to lose weight. I just love to run.
Oh...um....

I really have no comment for this, except for, it made me a little sad.

 One more thing. I'll let the screen-shot speak for itself:

Here's my final commentary to all you haters out there:

There are many of us dealing with the repercussions of a fat-shaming society. We don't need YOU to remind us that we

1) are not an idealized version of what a human is supposed to look like according to unattainable and simply unrealistic beauty/being standards.

2) don't look like the Nike models or the Fit Magazine models when we are working out and doing our thang. We don't care, but why do you care so much?

Just because we're working out, running, or god forbid doing Zumba, it does not mean that we have a problem with our body image. When you allude to that in your thinly veiled criticism masquerading as compliments, it simply means that YOU have a problem with YOUR body image. Get some help.

In the end, we love ourselves and our bodies. Maybe not all of us are fully aware of this, but we do. If we didn't love our bodies, we wouldn't be doing this.

That's all.











 

Slow And Steady Does NOT Win The Race

Flashback Friday
This was originally posted on September 5, 2011, two years into my running renaissance:

First Marathon: Marine Corps 2011

I'm all about being positive in general (actually, most of my friends would probably disagree heartily), but the old adage "slow and steady wins the race" just ain't true. For me, that is.

For every time someone asks me if I won the race I just did, I should actually get a medal.
I won my age group in one race last year--I was the only one in the age group, but it was an accomplishment nonetheless!

I run at a pace that many very fit people can walk at. Some people might call it a jog but I specifically remember someone, it may be John "The Penguin" Bingham, saying something to the effect of "if it's not a walk, then it's running." I may be grossly oversimplifying what he did or didn't say, but I'm pretty sure he was confident that his own slow pace qualified as running.

I'm not always last, although I tend to be last when the number of participants is under say, a thousand. Yesterday, as I completed the Charm City 20 Miler with an amazing pace of 15:30 (I managed to pump out solid 13 minute miles the first 7 or 8 miles then slowed down MAJORLY after the 14-mile marker), I chatted with myself (internally, that is): I know I'm going to be last and that's OK! No it's not OK to be last. Didn't I pass that girl at mile 5? Did she pass me while I was in the port-a-potty? Really, it doesn't matter if I'm last-at least I'll have finished. I just hate having all those people at the finish waiting for my slow butt! That's what they're there for-for you, silly! But what are they thinking? This fat girl had better hurry, I wanna go home.

I was worried that there wouldn't be any FOOD left after the race. I have a friend (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) who is much faster than I am, so she gets to the finish, picks up a hot dog and Gatorade for me (brats and Zico, if it's a fancy race...), and waits and waits and waits for me. Good thing or I wouldn't get any of the post-race refreshments. At a 10K in Upstate New York last year (a pretty well-known Turkey Trot, that's all I'll say) I was dead last. So last in fact, that as soon as I stepped off the timing mat, they rolled it up, almost tripping me in the the process. And then I walked through the finisher's area. There were no oranges, bananas (except for the very, very green, not-edible-unless-they're-boiled ones), no potato chips, no Fig Newtons, no Nutri-Grain Bars, no anything, except for a couple of liters of Saratoga Springs water. I was so angry, I contemplated taking an entire case. Alas, my car was about a half mile away and it was cold as hell...

There are race organizers who WILL wait for you, however, no matter how long it takes (I know this from personal experience). The NJ Trail Series (www.njtrailseries.com) was founded and organized by Rick and Jennifer McNulty, a couple whose goal is to "make running fun again". The first time I went out for one of their events, I DNFed. It was a 10 mile trail run in 2 loops. It took me so long to do the first one that I quit half-way. I distinctly remember Rick asking me if I was going for the second loop-I may have looked at him as though he had three heads (AM I GOING TO DO ANOTHER LOOP SO YOU CAN WAIT ANOTHER HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES? HA!)-No, I think I'm done. We'll wait, whatever you decide, he said. Wow, I was tempted to do another loop, but the anxiety of having people wait for me in the woods, no less, was too much to bear, so I declined. But, I've learned that they really will wait! One particularly grueling 13.1, I was last by at least 20 minutes from the penultimate person, but they were still out there, watermelon, snacks and all! Thanks, NJ Trail Series- You have made running fun again. Race directors have a lot to learn from you!

So no, I have not won any races, and I don't expect to, EVER. But that's OK by me. I'm not in it to win it-sorry for the cliché but it's true. I have no desire or physical capacity to even try to win--I'm in it for the thrill, the workout, the friends, the running community. And if you don't quite understand, sign-up for a local 5K and see what I'm talking about. You'll get hooked, and you'll only care that you're out there.

Please Leave Your Food Anxieties At The Door

I'd Like To Enjoy My Meal, Please

Original Post: April 13, 2015

Fat person eating in Spain.

About 10 months into our courtship, my then boyfriend and I went out to eat with some friends at the Pink Teacup in New York's West Village. The food was sumptuous--exquisitely prepared macaroni and cheese dripping with grease, collard greens simmered in a smoky broth, and fried catfish. MMMM! And then there was dessert. Bread pudding soaking in something alcoholic. I ordered a slice. And then I ordered another.

My boyfriend noticed this and surreptitiously placed his hand over mine with the intent to stop me from enjoying my dessert.

"It's not too much?"

I don't know if it was the (very) nasty I-WISH-HE-WOULD look I gave him or the fact that I said in a low voice that I was going to eat what I wanted, where I wanted, in front of who I wanted, and when I wanted and don't ever say anything like that to me again that ended that particular conversation. Six months later I married him. That was 15 years ago and to this day he has not made another attempt to ask what he thought was probably an innocent question.

I'd like to note that at this particular juncture in my life, I was running, swimming, working with a personal trainer, living in a fourth floor walk up in the Bronx, walking everywhere, and just being plain active every single day of my life. My then-boy-toy-now-hubby was very, very much aware of this and in fact offered to run with me one morning. But that, my friends, is another story...

I like food. I enjoy eating good, quality food. Whether that food is a salad, or a piece of homemade apple pie with cheddar baked into its crust, or some good ole-fashioned bracciole with pasta and gravy simmered all day on a Sunday, or my mom's crispy baked chicken I'm going to eat it--and that is with or without your approval.

I'm being so bad right now.
Are you really going to eat that?
Aren't you on a diet, though?
I really shouldn't be eating this.
Wow, I'm going to need to run a marathon tomorrow after this meal.
I'll just have half. I mean I really shouldn't even be eating half.
I probably shouldn't eat this.
I'm gonna have to put my fat pants on after this.
I'll just eat this salad and be hungry all effin-day.
You eat too much.

LIVE AND LET EAT

From the personal stories told and showcased on shows like Biggest Loser, Extreme Weight Loss, to the less sensational shows such as AE's Heavy, there is always a plethora of "before" pictures in which fat people are "caught" engaging in the ritual and necessary act of eating. The following may be controversial statements. People eat. Skinny people eat. Fat people eat. Fat people, in fact, need to eat too.

So why is there this incredible shame attached to doing what we as humans, as living and breathing animals of this planet? Why do we have this obsession with what others put in their mouths?
Why do people feel the need to sabotage their own food experiences and others'? There are no easy answers here. I think about this on a daily basis--not a day goes by that I don't hear someone engaging in this type of behavior. I  often catch myself doing the same thing.

This is not to negate the existence of the major epidemic of obesity that we are currently dealing with in the US. This is not to deny that fact that we are facing a real problem with the very low quality of food that many people either have to eat or choose to eat. Also, my purpose here is not to ignore the real issues with eating disorders that many men, women, and adolescents have. This is not any of that. The issue here is that negative food talk is so pervasive and omnipresent in our society that it has become normalized. We are accustomed to excoriating ourselves and subsequently projecting our negative and destructive feelings towards food on others. This isn't fair. It is especially unfair for fat people who may already be dealing with compromised self-image.

We have enough of this to deal with. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that many of us who are either overweight/obese/perceived-as-being-abnormal-because-we-have-big-bones-big-thighs-and-big-asses have dealt with, at some point in our lives being looked upon disdainfully when we eat, NO MATTER WHAT WE EAT. Salad? People are judging. Fries? Judging. Chewing gum? Drinking water after a sweaty workout?  Fried chicken? Let's not even go there. 

We have deeply held beliefs that aren't always substantiated by research and science about what constitutes a healthy appearance, lifestyle, diet. Let's deal with the REAL and very complicated root causes of obesity and what causes people to be unhealthily fat (it's not always as simple as calories-in-calories-out, folks.) Let's do this without judgment, without yelling at fat people, without portraying them in reality shows as unwieldy, out of control, and gluttonous; without parading them (us) in front of the world so that everyone can gawk at their profound shame.

Concerned about a friend who eats what you perceive to be an unhealthy diet? This is a dilemma, I admit. Have you considered why a person may be eating what and how they're eating? Have you modeled healthful eating yourself without relentlessly and thoughtlessly forcing your own food values and choices on others? Have you considered WHY you are worried? Have you considered that your concern might actually just be judgment?

But sometimes our concerns are just that, genuine concerns--that we can choose to express carefully, lovingly and respectfully without shaming in the process. Let us stop interrupting our own and others' enjoyment and pleasure in eating and nourishing our bodies and minds.

Live and let eat.

Potato Chips and Eggs

This is my second ever post on the blog from August 10, 2011

Go Daddy Go 5K in 2009. That had on the left would be my boy's.

No, I'm not referring to the actual ingestion of these food items, but to the great advice on form I received during a running program sponsored by The Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. This was in 1998, my second flirtation with running regularly. I was working in CORPORATE AMERICA, single, and carefree. One day in the office during an extended "break" in which I would spend much coveted time with the PAPER version of the New York Times. (What is paper? you may be asking yourself...) I happened upon a small ad announcing a free 8-week running class for women that would meet on the Upper East Side. WOW! I had been running on and off around the 1.5 mile loop in Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx for a couple of months and always looked jealously as the super-runners who would 1. bounce around at a seemingly effortless pace while I lumbered around and 2. subsequently lap me, twice. So this would be a great opportunity to run and to prepare for my very first RACE, the Avon 10K that would take place at the end of the eighth week of the program.

That first day, we convened at the hospital, listened to a panel of seasoned running enthusiasts, former Olympic athletes and sports medicine doctors who talked about the benefits of running. We did a brief aerobic warm-up, stretched and went out for a run on the East River Esplanade. Being a born and bred New Yorker, I'm embarrassed to say that I hadn't even known that the Esplanade existed before then. Anyway, they started us out slowly-run to the street lamp, walk to the next one, run past one street lamp YOU CAN DO IT, walk to the next one. This is how it went for the first few weeks. Panel, questions, stretch, run, stretch and snacks-see ya next week.

I looked forward to those Tuesday evenings. The participants in the program were friendly and encouraging as we had all come for the same thing-to be part of something awesome and healthful. I also looked forward to completing the homework they gave us, which was absolutely doable and plain fun. Run 1-2 miles alternating 1 minute of walking with 2 minutes of running. I could do that. I've always been an early riser, so I enjoyed getting up at the crack of dawn, greeting Tony and Maria, the superintendents of my apartment building, crossing the street and running the loop in Van Cortlandt Park. (If you a New York City resident and have not yet experienced the wonders of VCP-GO NOW! You won't be disappointed. The loop is a cinder pathway-so easy on the feet and legs. There is also a wonderful cross country trail that is used on the weekends for high school (and college?) meets, along with an oval track.) So it is absolutely imperative to get your run on in the Bronx.

We did speed workouts, hill workouts. Today the goal is to do ten hills, ok? NO, NOT OKAY. Of course that's just what I was thinking, but I did it, albeit not without a tremendous amount of mental effort. They coached us on form-keep your shoulders relaxed, your elbows at a 90-degree angle pretending that you're holding potato chips (I preferred to imagine the Cape Cod brand) or eggs in each hand. I still abide by this advice today. People may laugh or scoff, but the potato chips have saved my shoulders and neck from muscle soreness. So eat that!

During the 5th week, the crazy people who ran the program thought it would be fun to do a three mile run without stopping for walking. Just to make sure we would do it, they paired some of us slower-I-need-to-walk-now-please runners with trainers. I got a former Olympic discus thrower-GREAT! She ran right behind me, encouraging me the whole way, even up the damned hills and stairs. I worried that I was running too slowly, but she just kept on keeping me on. I finished my first 3 miler without stopping, running with an OLYMPIAN. We even got to meet GRETE WAITZ. I wish I had had more of an appreciation of who she was back then, and how she would help set a precedent for women in the marathon distance. May she rest in peace!

After getting through the first 3 mile hurdle, the next two weeks were 4 and 5 mile runs, respectively. We had one final panel that last week of the program and then they gave us our T-shirts. My first race tee! It's torn in many places, has missing seams, but it's one shirt I will never throw away for obvious reasons. That Saturday we met before the race to give each other final words of encouragement. It was bittersweet; these people (both participants and coaches) had given me the gift of running, camaraderie and personal accomplishment, and I probably wouldn't see them again. The gun went off and we started running. I ran 4 miles without stopping (a first!), and alternately walked and ran the last 2.2. The rest is history. (Well, not really but I'll get to that in future posts...)

Thus began my burgeoning addiction to potato chips, eggs, races and t-shirts.

I finally have something to say

This week: I'll re-post some of my original posts on this blog from 2011, the summer that I started training for my first full marathon. It's always interesting to look back, see, and feel the progress.  

This was my very first post.

 August 8, 2011

Funny story about this photo...(2009 Lake Shawnee 5K)

Although I created this blog TWO YEARS ago, this is my first post. I think the primary reason for me not posting was a fear that I didn't have anything useful to say about running, you know, being a bigger gal and all. Before I get into various musings, I'll tell you a bit about myself:

During the summer of 08, I was driving back from Baltimore to Central Jersey (where I live) after a full day of giving piano and voice lessons. Somewhere in PA on Rte 222, I began to have intermittent chest pains-you know, in the cardiac area, and I got scared. Was I dying? Would I make back to Jersey? Was I HAVING A HEART ATTACK? Obviously, that wasn't the case, but I became very nervous during that drive. So nervous in fact that my heart rate became elevated and my breathing became very shallow. I made it back home and immediately called a friend and asked her to take me to the hospital, where I would get 2 EKGs, many blood tests, and an x-ray. The tests showed nothing. No irregularities, nothing except for slightly elevated cholesterol levels. Maybe it's a muscle spasm-the attending physician suggested. But you should go see a cardiologist, ASAP.

To make a long story short, the cardiologist looked me straight in the eye and asked "How old is your son again?" Five. "You wanna be alive when he's older?" No need for an answer. "Lose 15 pounds in the next 2 months". Ok.

It took a couple of months to get on the wagon, but eventually I bought a treadmill and started "running" after a four-year hiatus and an added 60 lbs. My first mile was 17 minutes with a lot of walking. But I persevered, alternately running on campus (I live and work at a boarding school) and using the treadmill. I took out my Yoga Booty Ballet and Tae-Bo videos and started using them, again. I did South Beach Phase 1 several times and signed myself up for several 5Ks. I lost weight, and loved running again.

Signed up for more 5ks, got a good friend involved in my journey-she had her own, too!-and then I was off.

Now, running is sort of an obsession. I subscribe to every single running mag, and look for races everyday on www.runningintheusa.com. I try to run as much as possible, as frequently as I can. The endorphin high, I can't find anywhere else--maybe except from singing classical music--but not even that, really. My family thinks I'm crazy, but they're CRAZY supportive of me and my fitness endeavors. I still am aiming at losing another 80 pounds so that I can be at a really healthy weight, but I know it will come with patience and perseverance.

I absolutely love the running community, and cherish every time a fellow runner nods his/her head, says hello, yells GOOD JOB sister!, asks HOW MANY MILES TODAY?, or simply establishes eye contact and smiles. I may not be the fittest, thinnest, fastest runner around, but I am a runner.

Now I run just to run and be around runners. This is my blog.

10 Ways To *Almost Ensure Success On Your LONNNNGGGG RUN

I won't go into WHY you should be doing a long run in this post. That's for later. But here are a few ways to make sure you experience some success!


1. Lay out your running clothes the night before and admire them.
This is a special ritual for me. For someone who does not dress very well during the day (ask my friends, they'll tell you straight up that it's true), it's hilarious that I spend so much time picking out my running clothes. For one, they have to go together in terms of design. They also have to fit well and not bunch up between the legs or sag or roll down my side rolls because that's annoying. Most importantly, I have to feel like a badass in them, no matter how long or hard the run will be. Really, this is all about badassery.

2. Communicate with your spouse, significant other or family member. Or dog.
If you are concerned about spending so many hours away from your family, make sure that you have worked something out with your significant other and communicated your needs. When we were living in New Jersey and I my son was much younger, my husband understood that I needed to do my long runs (sometimes WAY early in the morning) before he got to do his weekend. Wifey must always be happy. ALWAYS. I expressed it as a need, and he understood.

3. Scout out your route the week leading up to the run. Daydream in a boring meeting if you must.

This is one of the most fun things for me to do. All week I imagine what new roads or trails I'll explore in my quest to test myself even further. This weekend, for example I'm looking to do upwards of 30 miles and I am EXCITED about it. I've never done this many miles unsupported so it'll be a new challenge to put together often trod running routes and explore new ones.

4. Make sure to let someone know exactly what your route will be.
This is purely a safety issue. Leave a note on your computer. Text a friend or relative beforehand with your exact route and when you expect to be home.

5. Get excited. Create a new playlist. Pump yourself up! (Sorry, this is three in one)
Imagine how you will feel mentally hours after your run. You may be tired and you may be sore. Heck, you may even be mad at yourself for cutting your run short a mile or two. But at the end of it all, you will have gone for a run. Nuff said.

6. Listen to your instinct/follow intuition.
If it feels weird, then it is. Trust yourself and your heart. Head back home.

7. Eat well and hydrate the day before.
It is important to have a good meal the day before. It is also extremely important to hydrate sufficiently. Your body will thank you for that during the run and during recovery! Find a carb-protein ration that works for your body. It may take some trial and error, but since everyone's body is different you must tune into YOUR body's needs.

8. Eat well DURING and AFTER the run. 
If you are doing a really long run, you may need some actual food beyond gels to maintain your energy and endurance. Again, this is trial and error. Find food and hydration that works for you. My current favorite long-run real food item is Clif Bar Sweet Potato with Sea Salt Organic Energy Food with sunflower seed butter and other non-sweet yummy things. The electrolyte mix that works best for me is Tailwind. This has kept me going on a number of long runs. Experiment with real food...just stay away from the fiber. I have many stories...

9. Invite someone to run the same route with you-keep yourself and your friend accountable.
I run a lot more slowly than virtually all of my running friends, but many times we still start out our runs together, all of us at different paces. This is ok, unless you have the keys to the only car at the park or trailhead. Although I really enjoy running alone especially during my long runs, sometimes I enjoy the company of a few friends, even if we're running at different paces. It's nice to know that there are others out there struggling! Not like Schadenfreude, but more like, YEAH-WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER!  Also, it's an added safety measure.

10. DO YOUR LONG RUN! 
If you're training for a short or long race, it is always beneficial to do longer runs. This trains your body's aerobic system and allows for endurance to happen. I won't get into the science of aerobic conditioning and the oxidative energy system, but believe me, it's a thing. Just get out there and do it.


*There will be some runs that are simply not awesome. This is a fact of life. But you will never regret that you went out there and did it. (Unless you are running with the flu and that's a completely different thing. Been there, done that. Stupid decision. I got my run in, though.)

I Am Training For Life

On Black Balsam Mountain after a VERY long day of backpacking uphill for many hours. Photo courtesy of Yan Luss.

Life is hard, and it may or may not be short.

Before I started this last and longest lasting exercising streak of mine, I would start amazing and creative endeavors with loads of energy and focus, plateau and then stop. The energy would fizzle, my mind would be numb from exhaustion, and my heart would be let down yet again.

So how is it that I am able to run marathons and ultra marathons, now? How do I stay committed and focused?

Any long-distance running (or any sustained physical endeavor) requires patience, discipline, and the ability to

• entertain yourself for HOURS,
• be in one's head for extremely long bouts of time,
• talk yourself off the ledge several times over several hours (or the edge of a crevasse), literally,
• separate mind and body, converge mind and body, eat and drink when you REALLY don't want to,
• drop your pants, pee, shake it off and keep running like it's normal...

In life you have to do the same sorts of things during hours-long boring and pointless meetings in which people talk just for the hell of it. During these meetings, you should be able to

• entertain yourself for hours (in your head while pretending to listen)
• talk yourself off the figurative ledge every time someone different starts talking
• separate mind and body
• talk to people when you really don't want to
• Ok, so you don't have to drop your pants and pee and keep running like it's normal, but pretending like what someone has just said is brilliant is pretty similar.

There are many other aspects of life that require sustained, unwavering focus over a period of time. And long-distance running, or any other physical pursuit that requires the same sort of consistent energy is very REAL but also a metaphor for every time something in life requires indomitable and unflappable spirit.

Sunrise and fire smoke at Farlow Gap, Pisgah National Forest

What keeps me going on those super long runs?

I think, I plan, I arrange music, I zone out, I sing in my head,  I am in my head, I imagine that I am Scott Jurek on the hills and Lolo Jones when jumping or tripping over roots and rocks. I rejoice in the fact that I am surrounded by stunning natural beauty. I become completely engaged in the process and look forward to achieving whatever goal it is that I have set. I become present.

When doing long runs, I became acutely aware of where I am, who I am and why I am. I become tuned in to the fact that I am living, and that in order to keep living I have to make an intense effort to keep living.

This is what training for life is.

How do you stay committed and focused? How do you train for life?

GETTING MY TRAINING FLEEK ON

Is your training ON FLEEK this summer?

Mine has to be, and here's why:

A few weeks ago I decided that I would register for one of the epic ultra marathons on my fitness bucket list, the Javelina Jundred 100K. I know. CRAY.

I sat on the comfy bed at the Mountainview Best Western in the North Georgia Mountains, my finger hovering over the register button on Ultrasignup for about half a minute. I asked myself if I really wanted to take the leap from the 35 mountainous miles I had done at the Georgia Jewel the previous year to the arid 100K (62 miles) at the end of October in Arizona.

Georgia Jewel 35, Snake Creek Gap Aid Station

Would I be ready? Could I be ready? Would my body be able to carry me over 62 miles in the desert, running, walking, crawling?

Should I do it? Should I do it?
GO FOR IT! said my friend and ultra-partner in crime, Kelly.

I did this the evening before attempting The Double Tap 50K that deep down I knew I would not complete. That race was especially difficult because of my bum knee and the mountains and the bears. What the heck was I doing registering for a 100K then? Who knows? The mysterious and totally unexplainable habits of ultrarunners...

The big question then is what am I doing to prepare for this momentous and possibly disastrous occasion that could potentially destroy my delicate ego?

• I am ODing on Beachbody videos: T25, PiYo, and Les Mills Combat are my favorites. Maybe I'll throw in a little P90X. (I also really dig the Biggest Loser and Crunch and Taebo and The Firm videos too.) DO ALL THE EXERCISE.
• I am trying to lose enough weight to make a significant difference in my finishing time
• I am loosely following Bryon Powell's Relentless Forward Progress 40-70 Mile Race Training Plan
• I am working on tweaking my nutrition to optimize all energy systems (both aerobic and anaerobic, but especially aerobic)...you know, that pesky adenosine triphosphate stuff...
• I am swimming
• I am hiking 
• I am doing yoga
• I'm finding awesome and interesting ways to be active, ALL THE TIME (A note- it's not always easy to step out of your comfort zone, but DO IT! Life is short, death is forever.)
•  I am SLEEPING

At my school's climbing tower doing something different

As I was writing this blogpost I just got word that I got off of the Finger Lakes 50s waitlist and I'll be participating in the 50K! And now I'm SUPER nervous because that's a lot of running, in such a short time. It's a lot of running and training period.

Take a look at the schedule below. All of this means that my training needs to be absolutely ON POINT this summer, because if not, it will be a veritable self-induced sufferfest.

Here are my current plans for the summer and early fall:

June 13: Tortoise and Hare Midsummer Night's Dream Ultra 12 Hour
June 27: Catamount 50K
July 4: Finger Lakes 50K
August 15: Wildcat Ridge Romp 50K
September: A 40-50 mile race, possibly the Georgia Jewel 50--this race is GNARLY in all senses of the word and I'm scared.
October: Javelina Jundred 100K I'm scared of this one too.

As scary and overwhelming as all of this is, I am REALLY excited to test the limits of what my body and mind can do together in athletic pursuit. Maybe I won't be able to do it all. Maybe I will. I do know that I will know and respect my body more deeply while expressing my love for the outdoors through moving that body intentionally through nature.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

What is your training looking like this summer? What crazy events do you have planned to increase your fitness, indulge your desire to be outdoors, or just be badass? Join the conversation in the comments!

I Bearly Survived!

 Double Tap 50K Race Report (DNF)

Something happens to you when you are out in the forest alone, the nearest people 2 miles away in each direction, and having spent every ounce of physical and mental energy available in your reserves. The complete silence/the sound of the forest envelops you, your senses are heightened and alert, and you lose your sense of time, of place. You are in a sort of sylvan zone. At times you hallucinate, other times you are keenly aware of your surroundings...Waldeinsamkeit. Only now, during my half-hearted attempt at RD Perry Sebastian's Double Tap 50k at Fort Mountain State Park in Chatsworth, GA, the einsam part was null and void.

The race began normally enough, even as a heavy rain drenched the 20 or so runners assembled at the start line in the middle of the road. We ran downhill a bit and turned right into the lush, wet and cool forest whose colors were made sharper and more vibrant by the insistent precipitation. I wore my trusty TNF Capris, a Mountain Goat Adventures tech shirt, a Patagonia Houdini Rain Jacket, and my new favorite trail shoes: Pearl Izumi Trail M2s.

The air was cool. The raindrops splashed aggressively on my face. All was well even though I immediately fell into last place. I wasn't concerned about finishing however, as I had already decided that I would do only as much of the course as possible on my bum knee that had been aching on and off for the previous two weeks. I promised myself to run only as much as my knee would allow.

On the Big Rock Trail

Early on, first 5 miles

The course was comprised of a combination of the rolling Gahuti Trail, the Lake Trail, the Big Rock Trail and several mountain biking trails of various difficulties. There were beautifully runnable but fairly technical downhills, coupled with a bit of rock-scrambling on the short Big Rock Trail (that also had AWESOME views of surrounding peaks of the Cohutta Mountains).

Socks and Sustenance

Coming into the second aid station, where Jennifer
and Jim Dees were waiting

At the first aid station, there was a cheery woman named Kena (an accomplished ultra runner and multi-day racer herself) who was sweet and especially grateful that I had wished her
“Christos Anasti” for the Greek Orthodox Easter Holiday. She then made me a turkey sandwich.

As I entered the second aid station, I was heartened to be met by two friends, one who serenaded me with a song and the other who opened the hatch of the Swiftwick mobile and offered me socks and sustenance for the next few miles.

One of the highlights or (extremely low points--depending on how much of a trail-freak and masochist you are) was the power line climb. You know, those long lines of tall power lines that cut through forest bringing energy to far away places. Had I had ANY clue of how demoralizing this part of the course would be, I would have purchased trekking poles proactively to ensure that I would be able to keep up a semblance of an acceptable pace.

The Power-line climb seemed miles long, when in actuality it was about a mile with a 1000% grade the entire way. Ok, that's a bit of hyperbole... It was extremely taxing and tiring though, and I had no idea how many miles I had already accomplished because my Strava had decided that it would not cooperate that day.

NOT a motivational sign

As I ascended this climb, I listened to The Golden Compass: His Dark Materials imagining a daemon resting on my shoulder reacting to each of my expletives. 

This-@$#%$&;; mountain!   What the ;*$^$(????   Is Perry $^%;%(% crazy? When is this going to ^%&;;;%)ing end? 

Fast forward to the top of the power line climb, when you are thanking your maker that you GOT THROUGH THAT. The course turned left away from the power lines and was rolling. As I neared the next aid station, a chiseled, tanned hunk by the name of Rick Hulsey in a yellow "Enabler" t-shirt came running towards me. He ran with Black Diamond trekking poles and carried a humungous back pack with water and supplies. 

"There you are! We were worried about you! Are you ok?"

"Sorry, I'm just slow. REALLY slow. And WHAT THE %&;;;%% was THAT?"

"Don't worry, you won't have to do it again. The only really slightly bad part left is the double tap, but it's pretty short."(Pretty short is a relative term in trail running. It could be 2 miles, 5, or 10 depending on what you're comparing it to.) Consoled by that, I began running again trying not to be too slow, taking breaks on the uphills with Rick by my side. One of the reasons I love the trail racing community is that people look out for each other, even if it's their job. They care, genuinely.

Rick told me about his long distance running in honor of a family member, stopped to show me snags in tree trunks, and spoke proudly of his children. I told him about my own running adventures and how I ended up in the South. He then let me use his poles for the next mile or so, until we reached the Pinhoti connector trail. 

"How did you not bring poles?"

"Uh, I don't know. I wasn't thinking. I should know better."

Double Tap That, Bruh

We arrived at the Double Tap aid station, I thanked and bid adieu to Rick and began to descend the Pinohi Connector trail. 

"It's only like three quarters of a mile, yelled my friend Crystal who had decided to pull out at 14 miles. "You got this!"

Yeah, three quarters of a mile downhill and then three quarters of a mile uphill. Yep. I got this...

I was so slow on this 1.5 miles, Rick came looking for me again, offering me his poles. An angel. The next 4 miles were doable. I had eaten my Christos Anasti turkey sandwich , some jalapeño kettle chips, amazing granola (furnished by my buddy Kelly--who had also provided BACON for afterwards. Now, that, is a friend, folks) and flat coke. I felt that I could at the very least finish 20 and be ok with it. 

The last two miles, were---er, memorable. Just as I thought the most horrible part must be over,  the slightly inebriated aid station volunteers shattered my hopes of an easy downhill free fall to where I would be finishing. 

"It's all uphill from here."

I didn't believe them. "You're kidding, right? What's this trail? Where does it go?"

"Well, you could run down this trail and reach a dirt road and then be chased by dogs. Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

"SHIT!"

"It's a long, slow, switchbacking two miles. You got this."

"Jesus!", I muttered, almost jumping into and hiding in the back of the volunteer's pickup. I veered left and started climbing. My friend Amy, who had supplied many of us with an extra pair of dry Swiftwick Socks from her Swiftwick-mobile, passed me about a tenth of a mile in and offered me her poles since she had been on her way to finishing. I declined, informing her that I would not be doing 50k that day. She finished the course about 45 minutes before I came into the finish that I wouldn't finish.

The Fuzzy Wuzzies

As I rounded the millionth turn in the millionth switch back, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I do wear glasses but am not a contact lens wearer, so I squinted, still not able to see what had caught my attention. Having experienced a few hallucinations during many a long and arduous trail run, I took this dark movement as what is usually is, a tree stump or a dark hollow, or simply nothing. I rounded the corner and moved closer towards the "tree stump"--this time the tree stump had two sets of eyes, ears, shiny, ebony fur.

The two adolescent cubs stared at me curiously as if I were just another one of them, perhaps more smelly and a bit more bizarre. One raised itself upon its hind legs and peered at me from behind a tree 50 yards away, above the next switchback. The other stared and began to make bear cub noises that sounded much like a dog's frightened whimpering.

After the blood returned to my fingers, after my hands stopped shaking and after I stopped hyperventilating (for nothing, really), I blew the small whistle attached to the left shoulder strap of my Nathan VaporCloud hydration pack.

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

Silence. A pure, forested silence only interrupted by newly sprouted spring leaves rustling in the the hot and humid wind, the snap and crack of small tree branches broken by small rodent-sized animals, the somewhat menacing gurgling of a small culvert...

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

And then, birds.  Several birds began to answer my whistling in a reassuringly cacophonous but somewhat harmonious mish-mosh of sounds that did the job of dissipating some of my fear.

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

tooooot t-t tooooo, toooot t-t tooooo

I looked around. Was this the Hunger Games? Was I the black Katniss? Where was my bow and arrow? Peeta? Cinna?

Alas, I was still fatgirldeathslogging stuck on the side of some mountain in Northwest Georgia on never-ending ascending switchbacks, the nearest people a mile away in each direction, with some bears thrown in the mix: two cubs with mom peering out from the den that I had passed earlier wondering if it was in fact a bear's den.

After I had finally come to my senses and calmed down, now kind of excited that I had had the rare opportunity to experience bears while on a trail run, and um, by myself, I picked up a large branch and a heavy rock. I tried to make myself look bigger to the cubs, who simply did not care.

I waved the branch and shouted "HEY BEARS. PLEASE GO AWAY. I JUST WANNA GO HOME. I'M TIRED, CAN'T YOU TELL? I'VE BEEN ON THIS MOUNTAIN FOR LIKE 10 HOURS. PLEASE? GO. AWAY.

They continued to stare with increasing curiosity and not move so I tried singing/yelling my own version of Rihanna's "Hard". HEY BEARS, IT'S SO HARD, YEAH-EH-THIS IS SO HARD while waving my stick and rock and tooting on my baby whistle, no Luther Vandross or Schubert this time.

The furry animals continued to stare at me and make appropriate bear noises that sounded very much like whimpering puppies, only louder and more insistent. After a minute or so of looking like the crazy black woman waving a stick and a rock on the side of the mountain, I decided to charge on and bite the bullet (or my tongue, literally.) I realized I would have to pass by the ebony fuzzy wuzzies twice, as they were stationed about 20 feet above the switchback and and a similar distance below the upper switchback. 

I felt momma's presence in the air, but thank goodness I had only sort of seen her eyes, because that would have been really freaky for this Brooklyn-turned-kinda-mountain-girl. Soldiering on, and simultaneously resigning myself to death by bears, I power-hiked past them like a bear-passing pro. You wanna kill me? There'll be a fight.

Alas, there was no fight. They lost interest and continued playing amongst the trees, as I inched my way to the last aid-station I would encounter on my DNF.  At the aid station, I commented on the stupid switchbacks and the bears. 

One of the many vistas on this course

White people reaction: OMG. You saw bears???? THAT. IS. SO. COOL. I've NEVER seen a bear on the trail. WOW. You're so lucky!

Black people reaction, later on when I posted about my experience on the NBMA (National Black Marathoners Association) Facebook group: Wait. Bears? Did you say there were BEARS on the course? That DNF would've been a DOA. 

As I departed the aid station, the volunteers told me that I would probably not be able to do the last 10 miles. 

'I wasn't planning on it. I'm done"

"Well, ok. You've got .2 straight uphill on the road. Sorry"

"Oh that's totally fine. I can do .2 more after that shit. I'm good. Thanks for being out here."

I trudged up the road to where we had started earlier that morning in the torrential downpour. My friends Susan and Thomas happened to manning the aid station to my delighted surprise, and boy, was I elated to see them. I plopped into a camp chair, poured a stiff pink gatorade, closed my eyes, and waited for my bacon providing turtle sister, Kelly.

Hope to tap this again next year, with poles!